Dominatrix said Michael Phelps paid her to pee on him

The ol’ Michael Phelps gossip mill started churning again on Wednesday when a New Yawk dominatrix named Kim Petro sold a story about her kinky romp with the Olympic athlete to the National Enquirer, because she hates having rich and famous clients. And as it turns out, his tastes are quite…singular. (J/k there’s no such thing as normal, people.)

According to the Enquirer (via the Daily Mail), Petro met the decorated Olympian through an online posting, which promised: “All-natural, super busty fetish provider with all the right curves in all the right places. Time with me is time well spent. Nothing shocks me. Don’t be shy.”

In an effort to spend his time well, Phelps contacted her and she agreed to come to his hotel in exchange for a “donation” of $900. Then they got down to business:

‘When he said drink some water before I get to the hotel, I knew what I was in for,’ said Petro.

‘I was going to go to the bathroom anyway – I figured I might as well get paid for it!’

When she got to the hotel she claims Phelps removed his shirt and then shorts to reveal that he was wearing ‘skimpy women’s underwear.’

They then smoked a little weed according to Petro and got down to business.

‘I got above him [on the bed] to [urinate on him],’ said Petro.

‘After I was done, he asked if it was okay to [pleasure himself]. Of course, I’m going to bend the rules a little for a famous Olympian, so he pulled down his panties.’

That is when she claims she noticed he had a string tied around his genitals.

‘I grabbed [the string] and pulled, and I also took out my breasts because he wanted to see them,’ she said.

Makes sense, seeing as swimmers are basically peeing on each other 24/7 already.

In all seriousness, while someone with a penis is going to have to explain the string bit to me, these all sound like perfectly fine things for consenting adults to do together in their free time, to the point where I feel a little guilty for even blogging about it. All the nice fish-man wanted to do was swim really fast and win a bunch of gold medals for America, and now he can’t even enjoy a marijuana cigarette or golden shower j.o. sesh without the whole world giving him the third degree about it. He’s barely even famous anymore!

“But he’s engaged to the former Miss California,” you say. Which: Yes, the contrast is amusing. But you don’t know what Miss California is like behind closed doors. So long as he didn’t cheat on anyone or engage in hypocrisy, I’m inclined to leave the guy alone about his sexual peccadilloes, and so should you. Starting…now.

[The Daily Mail]