Is this man performing backyard cunnilingus or giving a rimjob?

Back in December, YouTuber mcarrr uploaded a clip taken from presumably his backyard of a couple who, just over the fence, were engaged in sexual relations during what appears to be a makeshift picnic of horniness and leisure. On Friday, the video in question, titled “Back Alley Brunch,” was posted in the news feeds of leading online news aggregation sites Gawker and The Daily Dot, thus ostensibly christening the footage as a piece of viral media worthy of scrutiny and interpretation all across the web.

But What’s the big deal?, one might ask. Are two adults not allowed to score a little intimate downtime without the internet breathing down their backsides? What is there to scrutinize? Certainly no one faults the couple for rolling out a blanket that’s been in their trunk for two years and putting their private parts to good use on what appears to be a pretty nice winter afternoon. HOWEVER, one must wonder: Is this pantless man, crouched on his knees, tonguing his lady’s asshole or vagina? The question has circulated among Death and Taxes staffers for at least 45 minutes. The following is an abridged transcript from the DT chatroom, Friday March 20, 2015 at approximately 11:47 a.m. EST.

Brian Abrams: ok. who’s gonna post this? http://gawker.com/booty-eating-trend-still-alive-and-well-in-this-guys-ba-1692584308

Maggie Serota: that’s all you brian. unless jamie wants it.

MS: I mean, I can grab it. Instead of Kimmel. I know you usually don’t like to do gutter stories.

BA: Well, they both need to get done. I can do the rimjob.

Jamie Peck: That’s what she said.

BA: amazing that i don’t have a girlfriend.

MS: I appreciate you taking one for the team.

JP: okay

JP: this video is a bit of a letdown.

JP: he could merely have been eating her out from the back. we just don’t know.

Drew Salisbury: do we have an ass eating tag?

BA: he’s clearly going for the asshole. how could he possibly be diving into anything else? look.

zoom in asshole

JP:  You can’t tell where he’s going. He could be in her vagina. And it looks like she’s not even nude. It looks like she’s wearing white.

BA: ok Alex Jones

[Joe Veix enters the room]

Joe Veix: hey

JV: is this thing on?

MS: sup joe

JP: I just feel like in our rush to create anal trend stories, people often forget that you can get to the vag from the back

BA: so the anal trend thing isn’t real?

JP: oh it’s real

JP: but like, i think we have enough concrete examples so we don’t need to enlist these randos

BA: his nose is basically on top of her ass cheeks tho

MS: okay, joel’s is set for 1:45

JP: We can’t tell where his nose is

JP: she could be angled backwards

JP: pictures lie
Jordan Freiman: Gonna do a frame by frame analysis in a bit. I’ll let you guys know what I find tonight.

BA: jamie, the video is called “back alley brunch”

JP: do you think the people in it named it themselves?

BA: dude who video’d

BA: would know before any of us

JP: you don’t change the data to support your hypothesis

JP: dude who posted it knew exactly what he was doing

Regina Bresler: I think he’s pulling double duty in that video.

BA: He’s not a comic book hero.

RB: You lack ambition

RB: is what youre saying

BA: are you suggesting he has a huge tongue like one of the things at the car wash

BA: or that he’s going back and forth

RB: back and forth

RB: we only see like 5 seconds

RB: from an awkward angle

MS: okay, regina is skedded for 2:15, i gotta step away for like a half hour

DS: hey i’m following the directions you recently sent brian for how to upload a vid to the top of a post, but even though I resized the photo I took to 640 it’s not showing up that size on the preview

JP: I am going to contact this person.

JP: then maybe we’ll get somewhere

JP: THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE

[h/t Gawker]
Tags: anal debate