Taylor Swift is buying up X-rated web domains
Numerous pervs perked up their ears Monday to news that pop princess and potential Google shill Taylor Swift has been buying up porn domain names like they’re Starbucks pumpkin spice lattes. And not just any porn domain names: TaylorSwift.porn and TaylorSwift.adult. Could it be that, having revealed her belly button to the world, America’s Sweetheart is now ready to jump straight to money shots and double penetration?
Of course not. According to Billboard, the purchases come as a result of the Internet’s announcement that numerous unsavory domain names are going on sale June 1. In a tactic that sounds not at all like blackmail, the Internet is giving public figures the chance to buy domains associated with their names for $2,500 apiece before anyone else can:
The move was prompted by nonprofit group Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers continuing to expand the number of generic top-level domains, beyond such popular ones as .com and .net.
A number of controversial domain names will be available in June, but public figures and companies are currently being given a window of time in which to register them before anyone else can.
It’s unlikely TaySwift will do anything with them but let them rot in digital purgatory, but it’s still fun to imagine the infinite possibilities inherent in a Taylor Swift porn empire. She wouldn’t even need to change that face she’s always making. Movie titles could include:
“Red (Period Sex Party)”
“Fearless(ly Taking On Multiple Cocks At Once)”
“22 (Barely Legal)”
“You Belong With Me For The Duration of this Gang Bang”
“Shake It Off (The Semen In Your Hair, That Is)”
“Blank Space (In My Pussy For You)”
“Bad Blood (Period Sex Party 2)”
“Jizz Drops On My Guitar”
And so forth. I’d also like to thank this particular news item for bringing to my attention the most beautifully seamless Photoshopping of Taylor Swift onto an adult performer the world has yet seen. You’re welcome.