Vermin Supreme running for president, still wants to give everyone a pony
Perennial political candidate Vermin Supreme filed papers on Friday to run for the presidential primary in New Hampshire.
In a field that includes 30 Republicans and 28 Democrats, the Maryland Democrat stands out for his unique headgear, lush, wizard-like beard, and consistently pro-pony platform. Asked about how he’d defeat terrorists, he answered “Hooves on the ground and boots on our heads!” Political Monitor reports that Mr. Supreme paid his $1,000 registration fee in $50 bills marked “not to be used for bribing politicians.”
Here’s some footage of Mr. Supreme having his guns (and his pony!) taken away over the weekend at the NH state house…all on behalf of some clown named Ben Carson:
Other policy positions Vermin espouses include going back in time to kill baby Hitler, mandatory tooth brushing for all citizens, and buying everyone a pony.
Of course, this ain’t his first rodeo; this will be the protest candidate’s seventh run for president of these United States, and he’s been using absurdist humor to agitate against bourgeois democracy and stir up protest votes since the 1980s. But with “serious” candidates for president like Ben Carson and Donald Trump getting more outlandish by the day, the Vermin message seems more relevant than ever.
For instance: Vermin’s been talking about killing baby Hitler for years, and now it’s a question that the actual candidates are seriously discussing. One can only hope they’ll start talking about a free pony program next.