The reviews of Trump Steaks are hilariously bad

Before he entered the lucrative field of presidential politics, Donald Trump, the successful real estate mogul and television personality, had a number of failed businesses including “Trump Steaks.”

In the typically bombastic ad that’s been floating around, the Trumpster proclaims his eponymous steaks, which were  sold exclusively, and inexplicably, at the Sharper Image and by mail-order from QVC, to be “the world’s greatest steaks.”

What nobody but the Kasich campaign seems to have noticed is that, while they’ve been discontinued, you can still read the customer reviews of Trump Steaks online at

And they are terrible.

Trump is a showman who knows that you don’t sell the steak. You sell the sizzle. Which is why, in Trumpian lingo, everything is “the best,” “world-class,” or “five star.”  Yet, when it comes to the meat bearing his name, one-star reviews abound. Of the nearly 50 reviews I read of Trump’s various steak, burger, and hotdog “collections,” which ranged in price from $199 to $999, more than 50 percent were highly negative 1-2 star reviews. While some loved the steaks, the vitriol and disgust from many of those who ordered the highly-touted home shopping network meat was striking. As one reviewer damningly put it, the meat had “no redeeming qualities.”

It seems the only delicious thing about Trump Steaks are the reviews. Behold.


“Dreadful pieces of meat.”


Does “greasy and tasteless” remind you of anyone?


“The shrinkage is astonishing!”


The steaks’ greasiness was a common theme. 


As was the observation that the “World’s Greatest Steaks” are not very good.


Hear that, haters? Tasteless AND mealy.


Introducing Trump’s new campaign slogan: “Very little meat, too much marble.”


The hotdogs didn’t get off easy either.

Trump steaks and dogs

Here it should be noted that “Never again” is a phrase usually reserved for the Holocaust.


This discerning mail-order meat eater could hardly contain his disdain.


So where can you get your mittens on one of these disgusting boxes of meat? You can’t. Some time after their introduction in 2007 Trump Steaks were quietly discontinued.

trump steaks