The most Googled Valentine’s Day gifts for each state are all disappointing

Back when I worked in the Cherry Hill Mall as a teen, I could always count on seeing scores of men running around carrying Victoria’s Secret right before the Valentine’s Day dinner hour. Granted, Valentine’s Day is kind of a bullshit holiday, but that doesn’t make the last minute grab for gas station flowers any less thoughtless and cheap.

Granted, my sample size was limited to men in the greater Philadelphia area in the late ’90s buying last minute gifts. Who’s to say people don’t do better when they actually plan ahead for their V Day gifts? Unfortunately, the most recent data map from real estate app Estately seems to say otherwise.


Estately pulled the data from Google Trends starting from 2014, and the results indicate what people in each state Googled more frequently than people in other states. You can see a more complete listing here, but there are a few good highlights worth mentioning. California leads the league in matching couples pajamas and bondage gear while some lucky folks in Connecticut can expect some Hefner-style smoking jackets. A lot of dorks in Iowa are apparently going to be tooling around on tandem bicycles.

Tennessee provided the best┬ásearch of all, which is “free sex toys.”

One good take away from the data is that, if you’re spending Valentine’s Day alone, at least you won’t be getting any of this useless crap destined for the bottom of a landfill in a few weeks.