Sadistic chocolatier invents ‘meat chocolate’

People love chocolate. People love meat. But just because two things are good doesn’t mean you should combine them.

Like sex and bungee jumping. Or love and marriage.

Nevertheless, one New Zealand chocolatier is doing just that with a new line of chocolates filled with delicious New Zealand beef. There’s no name as of yet but might we suggest “FleshKat” or “Beef Ruth?”

Go ahead and add this to the list of previous edible abominations like the peanut butter cup burger and cheese and melon KitKats.

The brainchild of scientist Mustafa Farouk and Auckland-based Devonport Chocolates the chocolates are over 50% meat. Maybe I’m being a Queasy Quentin about all this but it sounds gross as hell. Evidently aware of the disgust-factor Farouk claims that the meat-filled new chocolate won’t taste or feel meaty, which, as several commenters immediately pointed out, would seem to defeat the purpose of making the frankenchocolate in the first place. According to “the result is a sweet with a consistency similar to a turkish delight. Any meat flavour or texture has been removed.”

That being said one suspects that simply knowing there’s juicy little bits of dead animal instead your chocolate morsel would be enough and, flavor and texture notwithstanding, your imagination would do the rest.

The product, which is not yet on the market, is seen as a potential new way for people to get more protein into their diets, but consider the pitfalls…

If you’re from New Zealand you already have to suffer numerous indignities based on the rest of the world’s general ignorance of your country. If they haven’t already asked what part of Australia you’re from they’re likely to bring up the “Lord of the Rings” films, Flight of the Conchords, or the kiwi bird before trailing off. In summary what the majority of the world knows about your country can be distilled to high fantasy, musical comedy, and flightless birds. It’s a short but respectable list. Do you really want to add the phrase “meat chocolate” to that?

[ | Photo Credit: Mark Taylor/Fairfax NZ]