Where the Hell is J.K. Rowling on Forbes’ Powerful Woman List?

Billionaire writer J.K. Rowling is conspicuously absent from Forbes’ power list.

Where the Hell is J.K. Rowling on Forbes' Powerful Woman List?

The last time I saw a preview for Harry Potter’s “Deathly Hallows,” the caption called it the movie event of a generation. This is true. But it was also the literary event of a generation. So Rowling single-handedly created the most important cross-media event of an entire generation. If that’s not power, you tell me what is.

When Michelle Obama appears on television it’s usually to mention something about how fat people are. Since we’re the fattest country on the planet, this usually falls on deaf ear — big, fat disgusting deaf ears lathered with mayonnaise.

Also, Obama advises women not to go into the corporate world. “Become teachers, social workers,” she says. It’s idealistic, but not a great recipe for the advancement of American prosperity. We need more female corporate lawyers. Like her.

Rowling, on the other hand, appeared on Oprah recently and casually mentioned she would not be opposed to writing another Harry Potter book. I had a pregnant.

I’ll be thinking about this when I visit Harry Potter’s theme park this November. I am a 28-year-old man, but I doubt I’ll be the only one there without children. Because I love Harry Potter. I love it more than the Constitution and way more than “Dreams of my Grandfather.” I really had to force myself through that thing.

Don’t let Forbes fool you, J.K. Rowling. You’re a beautiful, blonde princess. If I could, I would disapparate into their offices and let them know.