Paul Ryan flees Washington DC over shameful pour of Guinness

If you’ve been drinking to forget or give any fucks about beer, chances are you’ve blocked Speaker of the House Paul Ryan’s absolutely disgraceful pint out of your mind. It’s totally great he was able to enjoy a luncheon with the Friends of Ireland on Thursday and get some alcohol in his system but did he really have to coax Hillary Clinton out of the woods for one of her infamously bad pours?

Both the Irish and Americans came together this St. Patrick’s Day to roast poor Paul’s feeble attempt at booze diplomacy. So shook was he by the outpouring of condemnation he fucked his way all the off to his home of Janesville, Wisconsin some 800 miles away.

Ryan got his pint of the black stuff at O’Reilly and Conway’s Irish Pub, where apparently sodium-free saltine cracker Mike Pence has also imbibed. I’d hate to think this two have any semblance of taste but the pub does offer something called Kerry Rolls and do a regular fish fry. You can probably find both of those things DC but, as I’m sure Ryan can tell you, there’s no place like the home you’re helping destroy where you actually live.