Alex Jones explains to court how many breakfast tacos will cause memory loss

It’s killing us that we’re not at the Alex Jones custody trial in Austin, because the InfoWars mouthpiece took the stand Thursday and the cross-examinations sounds completely bonkers. Bobby Newman, the attorney representing Jones’ ex-wife Kelly Jones, had some fun with the fact that Alex claimed that “a big bowl of chili” prevented him from remembering the names of his kids’ teachers. According to BuzzFeed reporter Charlie Warzel, Newman kicked off the cross-examination by asking “you didn’t have any chili this morning, have you?”

Alex confirmed that the chili does indeed cause him to lose his memory, so he only had breakfast tacos before showing up to court.

According to reporter Dan Solomon, Newman asked Alex Jones if breakfast tacos could aversely affect his memory. The InfoWars explained that he only ate two, so he was fine. If he ate seven or eight breakfast tacos, however, he’d be in trouble. It’s good to know he’s being responsible.

If you think that’s the end of the food testimony, think again. When parsing whether the conspiracy theorist’s video rants are evidence of an unhinged individual or carefully choreographed performance art, Alex claimed that he leaves his rage behind at the studio. He’s just a chill dude who wants to scarf burgers by the pool.

That’s probably the most relatable the 9/11 truther has ever come across. In any case, these kids are fucked.

[screen shot: InfoWars]