Jared Kushner sounds like he’s still going through puberty

We’re used to adviser-in-law Jared Kushner acting as President Trump’s silent consigliere, just lurking in the background and using his vast expertise to advise the commander-in-chief to make disastrous decisions. On Monday, the notoriously microphone-shy Kushner made public remarks to a gathering of leading tech CEOs and damn if it didn’t sound like the 36-year-old just sprouted his first chest hair. It was the first time the second-generation real estate scion deigned to address the public since joining the administration.

Tech heavyweights like Apple’s Tim Cook were on hand to listen to Kushner, one of the leaders of the White House Office of American Innovation, toss around Silicon Valley jargon in the aims of making government more technologically efficient.

“We will unleash the creativity of the private sector to provide citizen services in a way that has never happened before,” Kushner said, sounding like every teenager from “The Simpsons,” minus the voice crack. “We will foster a new set of start-ups focused on government technology and be a global leader in the field, making government more transparent and responsive to citizens’ needs.”

Aside from innovating the shit out of government, Kushner has been busy assembling a cadre of lawyers to deal with the fact that the Russia probe is reportedly expanding into his business dealings. The “cuck globalist” also has his hands full fending off clandestine attacks from rival adviser Steve Bannon.

What I’m saying is that there probably won’t be too many other opportunities to hear the Kush sound like he’s apologizing for dropping a Taco Bell customer’s burrito on the floor. He’s should probably save his voice for testifying in a closed hearing.

[screen shot: MSNBC]