Breitbart editor to Bannon email impersonator: ‘Jared is an actual cuckhold’
The self-described “email prankster” who tweets under the handle @SINON_REBORN has tricked another D.C. dumbass into sharing personal information. This time he pretended to be Steve Bannon, and Breitbart editor-in-chief Alex Marlow, who you’d think would know Bannon’s email address, took the bait.
“Reading online about how I’ll be bringing forth my wrath on Ivanka and Jared,” the prankster opened, convincingly enough. “I’d be doing this great nation a service if I did.”
Marlow responded by bragging about Breitbart’s coverage of the couple, which the editor referred to as “dirty work.” After a reply from fake-Steve, Marlow tried to bro-bond by noting how much he loves the theory that Ivanka is cheating on her husband. “Best conspiracy on the whole internet is Jared is an actual cuckhold [sic],” Marlow wrote.
After more back-and-forth, during which Marlow revealed that he hopes Breitbart will force Jared and Ivanka out of the White House by the end of the year, the prankster shared a fake story so absurd that Marlow’s bullshit detector is clearly broken.
“They’re just high on the static of lame and self-importance, as would anyone be in the orbit of the Trump,” pretend-Bannon wrote. “Did I ever tell you Donald has red wine decanted through Melania’s used pantihoes[sic]? … to catch the silt. That goes no further than us! he told me late one night after he’d unwound with too large a Scotch.”
Everybody knows Trump doesn’t drink booze, but Marlow bought it and replied with a weird-ass high school metaphor about unaccountable men’s sexual proclivities.
“This makes more sense to me then you think,” the editor wrote. “When the best looking dude in my high school (who went on to play for the Yankees) defended R Kelly pissing on chicks to me, I knew certain people at a certain stature played by different rules. Chasing dragons normal people never even consider…”
Leaving aside Marlow’s obvious desire for non-consensual golden showers, let’s clear something up. He attended Harvard-Westlake high school in Los Angeles at the same time as major league outfielder Brennan Boesch, who played for the Yankees in 2013. Here’s what he looks like:
The same email prankster tricked Homeland Security adviser Tom Bossett and short-lived White House communications director Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci in July. Because everybody in the Trump universe is a fucking idiot.