Melania Trump getting replaced by a body double is the best new conspiracy theory

It used to be that you hadn’t truly made it until there were gay rumors about you. Now, you can’t really count yourself a success until a bunch of internet Jim Garrisons start drawing red arrows on screenshots to prove that a stunt double is masquerading as you in public while the real you is either dead or locked away in a missile silo. Congratulations are in order to Melania Trump, as an army of junior varsity Alex Joneses are sharing news footage of her appearing particularly wooden and standing beside her husband while he addresses the humanitarian crisis in Puerto Rico.

Her face is mostly obscured by giant Terminator sunglasses as she passively stands by and contemplates the gilded prison that is her life.

Yeah, I get why the first lady would want to outsource the job of standing idle while the adult toddler she married fills his diaper over the press withholding the lavish praise to which he feels entitled.

Body double truthers are hanging their argument on that fact that the shape of the first lady’s nose appears to have changed. As Glamour pointed out, her nose looks different because of the low resolution of the cable connection — but once the resolution is refined, it’s obvious that it’s the real Melania. That fact is bolstered by shots of her removing her shades.

Or perhaps the real Melania is off hanging out with the real Beyoncé.

[Screengrab: CNN]