Peepaw proves he can count backwards

In a stunning display of near-sentience, National-Enquirer-headline-come-to-life Donald Trump successfully counted backwards from ten to one. The US president did so while avenging Christmas, which has been under siege since conservative snowflakes first became triggered over the phrase “happy holidays.” Trump was taking part in one of the most American Christmas activities out there: DC’s ceremonial tree-lighting.

The annual waste of power was hosted by Kathie Lee Gifford and Dean Kane, both of whom have literally nothing better to do. Along with a crowd of onlookers and Melania Trump, the Christmas revelers helped Trump find the right words.

“We want to wish everyone a merry Christmas, a happy new year, have unbelievable holidays, and we are now going to light a very beautiful tree. And I’ll ask the First Lady to get ready and maybe we’ll do a countdown from ten,” Trump said, frantically looking about the stage and silently praying that someone else figures out which┬ánumber comes before ten.

Melania, for her part, looked just as uncomfortable as she always does, though she also successfully counted backwards.

Previously: Peepaw counts to six

[Washington Post | Screenshot: Washington Post]