Point: Dead Mouse Makes ‘Monster’ Energy Drink More Disgusting

I honestly just assumed all cans of Monster Energy Drink had dead mice at the bottom. It would help explain the taste.

Point: Dead Mouse Makes 'Monster' Energy Drink More Disgusting

I love caffeine, just can’t get enough of it. I drink a cup of coffee when I wake up, on the train, when I get into the office, and another in the afternoon for an extra kick. There are times I can’t concentrate, my hands shake uncontrollably, and my knee bounces like I’m nervous to see the principal. I don’t discriminate with my caffeine intake either. Give me soda, give me Red Bull, but just make sure to give me as much of it as you can find. Nevertheless, I do have a line that I feel no caffeine lover should dare cross—Monster Energy Drinks.

Roughly a year ago, 19 year-old Vitaliy Sulzhik entered an unassuming Des Moines, Iowa convenience store to make the seemingly innocent purchase of an energy drink. Since most convenience stores seem to stock more energy drinks than bottles of water, Sulzhik likely had his pick of the litter.

He could have bought a classic and reliable can of Red Bull, or maybe he had the hankering for something more extreme like Amp. Instead, Sulzhik decided to ignore his better judgment and common sense, and grabbed a can of Monster Energy Drink. For better or worse, his life will never be the same again.

Sulzhik drank his Monster like anyone else, quickly and with a blind ignorance to taste. However, after he finished his soulless beverage, the Washington native noticed that the can didn’t seem to be empty.

“I put it down and I felt it was still heavy. So I backwashed it and all this debris went into my mouth,” says Sulzhik. “Then I looked in the can and I saw the tip of the tail and I vomited everywhere.”

Yes, Sulzhik suffered from a nightmare that only KFC and Popeyes customers are supposed to endure: He found a dead mouse in the product he was consuming.

Sure, we’ve all heard the stories before, and the urban myths might have haunted our dreams as children. But the actual discovery of a dead mouse floating in your drink leaves a scar that no amount off carnitine, taurine, and ginseng will ever erase.

The consumption of the average mouse-free can of Monster has been known to upset stomachs on occasion, and now it appears the company might have to pay for unleashing the plague they refer to as “the beast” on our society.

Sulzhik has filed a lawsuit against Monster for the apparent disgusting error in their packaging process. An independent lab in Seattle confirms that the rodent didn’t suffer from any trauma, nor was it retroactively stuffed in the can by Sulzhik. Of course, Monster representatives remain skeptical, claiming their brand to be blameless and Sulzhik to be a liar.

The 19 year-old remains steadfast in his claims of innocence, but remains terrified of all canned beverages.

As a dedicated hater of Monster Energy Drinks and all monsters in general, I hope they pay for the reckless disregard the drink has shown towards humanity.

Counterpoint: Dead Mouse Proves ‘Monster’ the Most Extreme Energy Drink