Vague FBI Documents Are Clearly All the Proof We Need That Aliens Exist

Insert “X-Files” or “Doctor Who” reference here.

Vague FBI Documents Are Clearly All the Proof We Need That Aliens Exist

A declassified FBI report surfaced that will make all the alien believers and conspiracy theorists on earth collectively wet themselves.

A couple of pages came out of the vault reporting sightings of UFOs and little mystery creatures in shiny suits that crashed in New Mexico. Yes, these are supposedly real cables from the FBI, specifically from agent Guy Hottel, dated March 1950. They claim that flying saucers with raised centers were recovered with three-foot-tall humanoid creatures in metallic clothing inside. Which means Sammy Hagar and those weirdos that occasionally pop up on the evening news might not be so crazy after all.

The details of the report are pretty scant. The report is from three years after the infamous supposed alien crash in Roswell, N.M., in 1947, so either there were multiple sightings in New Mexico over the course of a couple of years or Agent Hottel royally sucked at filing his paperwork on time. It’s probably the former, since another document from the Roswell incident gives slightly different details about the shape and flight of the spacecrafts.

There are possibly billions of Earth-like planets in this galaxy alone, and even weird little buggers right here that have arsenic in their nucleic acid. So maybe it’s not so far-fetched or utterly insane to think there’s other life out there. The questions that remain are why aliens with the technology to zip around the entire galaxy would want to come here and why their first stop for collecting human specimens is apparently always a meth lab in the desert.

We probably aren’t gearing up for Prisoner Zero or a Dalek invasion any time soon, but at least now there’s something to back you up when you talk about getting probed.