Depressed Man Finds Salvation in Eating Finger
Body Integrity Identity Disorder is really real.
Is anyone a stranger to suicidal ideations these days?
Each day on my hour-long commute home from work, I pass from Manhattan into the Bronx, crossing the the Harlem River at 225th street. I don’t exactly have to stop myself from jumping off the bridge, but I do find myself thinking, It’s so hard to live, but so easy to die. (By the way, if the fall from the bridge didn’t kill me the toxins in the water surely would. That or turn me into a super hero.)
Depression causes amazing effects like sleepless nights, not being able to get out of bed in the morning, constant erections (just me?) and, worse, an utter impossibility to do the right thing for yourself. When you’re depressed, everything you want eludes you.
In the fog of depression, I have thought many thoughts, felt many feelings and ate entire rows of Fig Newtons. I’ve just never thought I should cut off my own finger and eat it. Next to the anonymous New Zealander who did this, I look like Anthony Robbins.
Said New Zealander has struggled with depression for years, his doctors say. Here’s the full report from Australasian Psychiatry:
“At the end of 2008, following another personal crisis, and while not being fully compliant with his medication, he spiralled into another episode of depression. He experienced significant insomnia and suicidal ideation, and ruminated for days about cutting off his fingers.
“In an effort to seek reprieve from these thoughts, he tied a shoelace around his [little] finger to act as a tourniquet and cut the finger off with a jigsaw.
“He then cooked it in a pan with some vegetables and ate its flesh. His plan was to amputate another two fingers the following day.
“Mr X reported initial excitement—non-sexual—and a sense of relief from his ruminations. Given the instantaneous benefit, he felt that there was no point in cutting off any more fingers.”
The man later regretted the act of self-harm—his first—”because of its debilitating effect”.
This is an instance of Body Integrity Identity Disorder (the want to remove one’s limbs) coupled with self-cannibalism. In other words, totally insane.
When it comes to depression, this guy is the real deal. I give depression a bad name. And I’ll tell you what: not even being able to do depression right is totally, totally depressing.