Putin FEAT

Vladimir Putin: You Gotta Fucking Love This Dude

Aug 11, 2011

This week in Putin news, we find out that the Russian Prime Minister is basically Steve Zissou, but stronger.

Putin Vladimir Putin: You Gotta Fucking Love This Dude

Plenty of politicians have hobbies, but no one has hobbies like Putin has hobbies. This week, everyone’s favorite former KGB member decided to add archeology to his long list of exotic pastimes. The sixth-degree black belt joined a team of Russian archeologists in a underwater adventure to explore the ancient city of Phanagoria, sometimes referred to as the Russian Atlantis.

The whale-hunting Prime Minister slipped in his wetsuit, strapped on the scuba gear and went driving for lost artifacts in the Taman Bay in the Black Sea. Of course the polar-bear trapping former Russian President didn’t leave empty handed. Like usual, Putin demonstrated a natural talent for an activity that normally takes years of training. The world’s strongest politician returned to the surface with fragments of two ancient Grecian urns and immediately asked the archeological team if he could keep them, because “it might be useful for [his] household.”

After attempting to crush a frying pan with his bare hands merely a week ago, Putin is on a torrid pace of awesomeness and shows no signs of stopping. And here at Death And Taxes we would just like to take a moment to acknowledge just how muh we fucking love this dude. Because while our country is in utter disarray financially, Putin is out doing his best Indiana Jones impression. While stress has caused Obama to start considering Rogaine, Putin looks younger. While Congress argues about who fucked up the debt deal, Putin fucks every model in Russia. He makes having no chest hair appear manly. The guy even survived an interview with the nefarious Noami Campbell, which was previously considered impossible.

Sure, his methods may be a tad questionable, and the mysterious deaths of upwards of 20 journalists who wrote unflattering things about his administration is kind of a dick move. But more importantly, have you seen his pecs? They have some magical ability to manipulate and brainwash that Obama’s abs and jump shot could never accomplish.

[NY Times]

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