Domino’s Pizza Is More Interested in the Moon Than NASA
The pizza place you order from only when nothing else is open has its sights set on the moon.
The United States hasn’t sent a man to the moon since Apollo 17’s mission nearly 40 years ago. Since then the moon has become an afterthought in our exploration of outer space. After realizing life could not be sustained there, we moved on to other projects like the international space station, Mars and the possibility of deep space travel.
Over the course of this past summer NASA shut down our space shuttle program, putting America’s presence in space on an indefinite hiatus. We now have to pay Russia millions simply to sit shotgun on a trip to the land of zero gravity. NASA has been forced to shift focus with no concrete goal or objective in the near future, forcing the space program to switch gears into neutral until it is privatized.
While NASA sits in limbo, one intrepid private company has set some rather lofty goals for their future. Domino’s Pizza has announced plans to open a restaurant on the moon. While this could all be a publicity stunt, they certainly put a lot of work into it. The Japanese arm of the popular pizza chain has detailed plans that include a precise cost analysis and virtual sketch of the preliminary layout of the restaurant.
“The company estimates the entire project will cost Y1.67 trillion – some £13.4 billion – of which Y560 billion (£4.5 billion) will be required to transport 70 tons of construction materials and pizza-making equipment to the moon aboard 15 rockets.
Keen to make the most of local resources, Domino’s said it will keep costs down by using mineral deposits on the moon to make the concrete, which is likely to cost around Y194 billion (£1.5 billion).”
A Domino’s spokesman stated that they started thinking of the idea over year ago. She did not comment on whether or not they were stoned.
Domino’s believe that at some point in the future there will be citizens of the moon other than astronauts who live and work there. Of course they won’t be able to live without the essentials like, you know, cheap status quo pizza.
In real dollars, those worthless American green things, this entire expedition would cost an estimated $21 billion. Suffice it to say I don’t think Domino’s has the resources to afford that kind of project. There market cap is $1.6 billion. So their company is worth roughly 7% of their entire moon project.
But that’s okay, there’s a cheap and effective alternative to their multi-billion dollar idea—film it in a movie studio. I’d suggest Stanley Kubrick for this kind of job, considering his rather convincing previous work, but a) he’s dead and b) I bet J.J. Abrams would totally be up for the challenge.