That Long Bizarre Charlie Sheen Nightmare Is Finally Over
Shockingly, the biggest plot twist is the fact that Sheen’s self-destructive warpath never ended in tragedy.
One of the biggest stories surrounding the entertainment, drug and porn industries over the course of the past six months has been the sanity of Charlie Sheen. Seriously, raise your hand if you thought this was going to end well for ‘Wild Thing.’ Now, put your hand back down, Charlie. Before going on a bender that all future Hollywood meltdowns will forever be measured against, Sheen was once considered one of the luckiest men in the business.
He had the highest salary in television history, starred on the most popular comedy on network TV and partied harder then men half his age. Then he trashed a hotel room, got arrested/ hospitalized, stopped by rehab long enough to say hello, lost his job, started living with porn stars, smoked enough crack to kill Bubbles from ‘The Wire’ and then miraculously came out relatively unscathed.
Sheen may not have a job that pays him $1.8 million an episode anymore, but the fact he escaped the past half year without suffering the same fate as his “Two and a Half Men” character is reason enough to celebrate.
Over the course of the past two days Sheen has officially (hopefully) shut the door on this bizarre and exhausting chapter of his life. On Sunday night, he made a public and rather genuine apology to the cast, crew and creators of his former CBS sitcom during Emmy Awards. He made no mention of tiger blood, nor did he use his favorite “w” word. The gaunt appearance we had become used to in recent months had filled out slightly and his diction was less slurred.
Last night, before his highly-anticipated roast aired on Comedy Central, Sheen tweeted a picture of himself and some friends sitting around watching Ashton Kutcher fill his shoes. No one could have imagined this kind of civility from Sheen as recently as last month. After watching the closing words of his roast I actually got the feeling that he might have turned a corner. It might sound ridiculous, but I think going from ‘batshit crazy’ to merely ‘normal crazy’ is a huge step in the right direction.
Now, it’s simply a matter of where Sheen goes from here. Did he effectively kill his chances of being a somewhat respected Hollywood actor ever again? Or is that town’s memory as short as its attention span? His former show will get along just fine without him—it’s a mindless show that earns baffling ratings based simply on dick, fart, drinking and sex jokes. Kutcher appears to be playing his old role of Kelso from “That 70’s Show” with a slightly better sense of self-awareness.
Hopefully, that same kind of renewed self-awareness will keep Charlie Sheen away from the crack pipe and out of the news for a while. We all know how exhausting he’s become over the past half year. Nevertheless, no matter what he does professionally from here on out, he is still the luckiest man in Hollywood. It’s not because of his job or his salary—he’s lucky because he still has a pulse.