A new drug called Blowfish is supposed to help relieve that head-pounding, stomach-turning pray-for-forgiveness hangover in 15 minutes.
Everyone knows the feeling: Your alarm clock rings and you rub your eyes groggily, waking up in a confused daze. Looking around the room you find your clothes scattered along with a couple beer cans. Every inch of your body aches as though you were in an MMA brawl the night before — you can’t even be sure that you weren’t. Your head weighs more than an Acme anvil and your stomach is about ready to quit of the rest of the body. After attacking the Tylenol bottle next to the bed, you eventually make your way to the shower, and while you’re sitting on the floor begging a higher power for relief you swear to never drink again.
Hangovers are amongst the most painful and resilient aliments known to man. They can be utterly debilitating. They can force the strongest men to the brink of tears. Somehow, over the course of thousands of years of excessive drinking no one has figured out a universally accepted remedy to ease the pain. Instead we take a couple aspirin, drink water, eat greasy food and curl up in a ball. It’s a rather pathetic existence. However we may have finally found the help we need to relieve the pain.
The FDA has officially approved an over-the-counter drug called Blowfish, which contains 1,000 milligrams of aspirin, 120 milligrams of caffeine and a stomach-soothing agent in the form of two dissolving tablets. The new drug is taken like Alka-Seltzer and is said to help ease hangover symptoms within a little as 15 to 30 minutes.
“So many people see hangovers as a shameful or embarrassing thing. I think of them as just a fact of life,” said Brenna Haysom, the creator of Blowfish through the West Village-based Rally Labs LLC.
“The magic of the effervescent tablet is that it hits your system much faster than getting a cup of coffee, taking an antacid and taking some aspirin separately,” she said.
The remedy doesn’t give free reign to binge, however. “I definitely don’t encourage people to get obliterated,” warned Haysom, who has been hung up on hangovers since college.
“This is a really effective product for people who have a couple too many: A happy hour that goes a little long, or holiday parties are a perfect example … and they wake up feeling terrible. This gets you functioning again quickly.”
In other words, modern medicine has created another miracle. Finally, we have a cure that could help millions be more productive on Saturday afternoons. It might even make college kids attend more classes, which in turn could make them wiser and harder workers. Hell, this could fix the entire economy.
I have no clue just how effective Blowfish will be or if it’ll be able to alleviate the most painful of hangovers; however it gives us hope that one day we’ll be able to get out of bed the day after crushing eight Jameson shots — that’s the American dream.
[The Daily News image via shutterstock]
December 06, 2011 at 4:38 pm, ALBERTDONGER said:
SEE WHAT THE FDA HAD TO SAY BELOW.
Thank you for your message to the Division of Drug
Information at the Center for Drug Evaluation and Research (CDER), within the
Food and Drug Administration (FDA).
Blowfish is not an FDA approved drug. FDA/CDER approved
drugs are listed in our Drugs@FDA database:
http://www.accessdata.fda.gov/scripts/cder/drugsatfda/index.cfm
We have forwarded the website in question to the
attention of our Compliance office and appreciate your concern in this matter.
Best regards,
Drug Information BLS
Division of Drug Information
Center for Drug Evaluation and Research Food and Drug
Administration
For up-to-date drug information, follow the FDA’s
Division of Drug Information on Twitter at FDA_Drug_Info
This communication is consistent with 21CFR10.85(k) and
constitutes an informal communication that represents our best judgment at this
time but does not constitute an advisory opinion, does not necessarily
represent the formal position of the FDA, and does not bind or otherwise obligate
or commit the agency to the views expressed.”
December 06, 2011 at 5:09 pm, Guest1 said:
it seems like someone didn’t get the joke
December 06, 2011 at 6:02 pm, KevinDJuggalo said:
fuck the FDA
December 07, 2011 at 10:08 am, Jules Wish said:
It isn’t just “like” Alka-Selzer – it IS Alka-Selzer. This is just Alka-Selzer, which indeed is FDA-approved (actually, it is a grandfathered-in “old drug”), being sold as something to ease the “symptoms” of a hangover, which are the same symptoms which Alka-Selzer has always been sold for. The only thing new is the marketing.
December 07, 2011 at 10:51 am, JohnD said:
That is absolute bullshit! The FDA will not approve something they have already approved: asprin. In order for these guys to make this claim, they have to have clinical proof. This is just an ad. Wake up.
December 07, 2011 at 4:13 pm, Marilee_182 said:
Wow I’m so glad to see people putting hard work into finding cures for self induced illness while people die every day of cancer and other diseases. Wait to go, glad to see we have our priorities straight America!
December 07, 2011 at 5:16 pm, shiva hari said:
Still won’t work if it’s the same thing people already take and doesn’t work. The only thing that works is acetic acid taken before you crash out for the nite. Acetic acid is the main ingredient in vinegar. I haven’t had a hangover since I started taking vinegar, but it has to be enough, and it will only work on an empty stomach (has to be able to digest fast enough). I weigh 180 lbs, I take 5-7 tablespoons of vinegar depending on how much I drank. To make it palatable I add a few tablespoon of salsa into the blender, add some water and the vinegar. Guaranteed to never have a hangover again. Learned this from a japanese scientist who had done research on acetic acid and citric acid. Citric acid works also, but not nearly as well. It has to do with a chemical reaction in your liver, the acetic acid cleans out the stuff that gives you a hangover.
December 07, 2011 at 9:37 pm, Robin Brenizer said:
Don’t cut yourself after taking it, you’ll bleed to death. If you barf your eyes will explode.
December 08, 2011 at 9:22 am, Cknowles said:
Hahahaha… @ Marilee, I am putting hard work into researching how to save and defer tax dollars for my clients. I must be a horrible person for not devoting my life to finding the cure for cancer and being an entrepreneur. You’re a joke!
December 08, 2011 at 12:30 pm, Chargers said:
Anyone ever try Pedialyte, now that stuff works, drink half before bed and half in the morning, taaa daaa
December 08, 2011 at 7:39 pm, shiva hari said:
Japanese Pharmaceutical Codex (C), the 10th version (the
latest version), p. 647, we can find the following statement:
“The effects of vinegar on a hangover and feeling sick from drinking
have been known for centuries. If you are liable to be drunk
very easily, please take vinegar or citric acid before, during, and
after your drink. You will not feel sick even if you drank
sake to some extent, and will sober up soon without being drunk.
Feeling sick from drinking is caused by accumulated acetaldehyde,
which is the residual substance after alcohol was broken down in the
liver.”
December 10, 2011 at 8:41 am, Carl Sagan said:
I highly doubt this is more effective than cannabis
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I’ve said that least 4439838 times. SCK was here
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