If you went to sleep early last night you missed out on one of the longest and strangest celebrity Twitter rants of 2012. Yes, I realize that we’re only five days into the new year, but Kanye’s three hour 87-tweet marathon was something special. Mr. West dominated the Twitter feeds of millions of users when he decided to release his unrelenting stream-of-consciousness to the world. In typical Yeezy fashion, he unloaded a plethora of information during his extremely tangential one-sided conversation with himself.
While it’s extremely hard to find a method to the madness amid his fashion name-dropping, childhood flashbacks, proclamations of greatness, unconvincing self-deprecation, eduction reform theory and his new design company DONDA — I gave it a shot.
Whether you like him or not it’s hard to argue with the fact that Kanye West is a musical visionary. Since he arrived on the scene he has helped utterly transform the ever-evolving rap genre. By many critics’ accounts “My Dark Twisted Fantasy” is arguably the best rap album in the past decade. Kanye’s problem is he thinks he can do anything, but just because he dresses well doesn’t mean he has the talent to become the next great women’s fashion designer.
Last night he took the opportunity to set the record straight about his fashion line. He said he had no financial backing and gave his Twitter followers a short summary about what he’s been up to (non-musically) since the MTV debacle. West apparently fled the U.S. to Japan, then Rome and Paris. In a span of about ten tweets he name dropped his dealings with A Bathing Ape, Louis Vuitton, Fendi, Giuseppe Zanotti, Azzedine Alaia and a store called Colette in Paris. He talks about internships with famous designers and vaguely references contracts with Nike and Louis Vuitton.
Out of the blue he switches gears from talking about his “embarrassingly small” studio in Paris to childhood nostalgia about when he went shopping with his mom and always picked out the most expensive furs. His mom used to wear Cosby sweaters. Kanye was kicked out of class in fourth grade for drawing Nikes and bringing porn to school. If you didn’t already know Yeezy has an issue with our education system, but we’ll get back to that later. Because at this juncture in the rant West needs to point out that all the access, fame and money that comes along with being a celebrity makes him feel boxed in creatively. Poor Yeezy.
But don’t be too sad everyone, because Kan is apparently in talks to become the creative director for an upcoming Jetson’s movie. Oh, and since we aren’t on the subject, West has a few things to say about the Grammy Awards. They are illogical, but he’s totally thankful for helping him become an established artist. He quickly begins wondering what he wants to wear and complains about the struggle of being Kanye West — trendsetter or fashion victim. (I totally felt his pain there.)
Now, Kanye starts getting all philosophical and self-conscious, tweeting: “This is just a train of thought.. but figured it’s better to read than trained thoughts.” Oh snap, that’s deep. It’s not like when every other rapper rearranges a typical phrase to find importance or look cool, because Kanye is already cool and important.
Around this time you start wondering, “where the hell is the Louis Vuitton Don going with all of this?” With his trademarked timing Kanye then reveals his design company that has designs on changing the world, DONDA. Great name right? Kanye thinks so. What will DONDA do? Glad you asked. “DONDA is a design company which will galvanize amazing thinkers and put them in a creative space to bounce there dreams and ideas.”
Still have no idea what DONDA is supposed to do? Let me help you out. Kanye’s “assembling a team of architects, graphic designers, directors musicians, producers, AnRs, writers, publicist, social media experts, app guys, managers, car designers, clothing designers, DJs, video game designers, publishers, tech guys, lawyers, bankers, nutritionist, doctors, scientist, teachers” with a goal of creating products and experiences people want and can afford.
DONDA appears to be so ambitious that it will change the way the world hears, touches, tastes and feels. Basically it’s gonna be like Apple, with completely abstract goals, and Kanye playing Steve Jobs. Because Kanye cares about people! His mom was an English teacher! Oh yeah, speaking of school, Mr. West and Spike Jonze are gonna start their own summer school with a new experimental form of curriculum, where everyone has an iPhone and won’t get in trouble for using it.
At the end of the day Kanye just wanted to change the world and he’s so focused that he hasn’t even bought new jewelry or a car in two years! He only spends his money on world changing endeavors like DONDA, hotel rooms, first class plane tickets and hiring amazing creatives. And he spends his down time reading George Bernard Shaw.
Or at least I’m pretty sure that’s how it went. Check out Kanye West’s rant for yourself, but do yourself a favor and never get lost in his thoughts. You may never find your way back.
