Avril Lavigne and that horse-faced dude from Nickelback are apparently getting married. This is the perfect storm of mediocrity and this rare event of two massive punchlines in their own right coming together may not happen again in our lifetime.
Together they shall be called: Chavril.
Avril, once popular in America, is perhaps best “known” for her song “Complicated” which can best be described as the sound of one hand clapping or perhaps two cats mating in a burlap sack directly next to a busy freeway. Chad Kroeger, her husband-to-be, is the frontman for Nickelback, a band that sounds like a lost bet or a grieving widow. They had a few songs back in the heady and carefree days of 2001 such as “How You Remind Me” which was riding high on the charts during the 9/11 attacks – which is either a poor choice of words on my part or an entirely fitting visual aid for their music.
And now Avril and Chad (those names!) (together!) are engaged to be wed. Do not – I repeat – do not look directly at the supernova of failure. There are special glasses to be worn, or you could poke a hole in a piece of cardboard and view the couple, like so:
Here, for either your amusal or simply because you hate life, is Nickelback’s 2001 hit “How You Remind Me” and Avril’s “hit” that she had this one time eleven years ago.