Here are Death and Taxes, nothing makes us happier than scrolling down our Facebook feed and seeing a serious political op-ed juxtaposed with a video with a title like “This Bulldog puppy may be the most adorable thing on the internet.” It reminds us that life is vastly inconsistent, and inspires us to roll with it, because no matter how depressing things get a video of a cat and dog making out (or something like that) is right around the corner.
While usually our readers are on board for the mishmash of topics, now and then someone in the Facebook comment section expresses distaste for “fluff” stories, usually with some kind of wise-ass remark like, “slow news day, huh guys?” While we don’t usually base our editorial strategy on commenters’ dick remarks, we thought it might be nice to provide something for the pretentious a-wads out there who can’t enjoy a cat video with one line of text without pointing it out as fluff. Pretentious a-wads are people too, you know?
So here’s a picture of a cross-eyed cat wearing a pirate costume from Reddit, and for anyone dissatisfied with this as worthy editorial, below are three stanzas from T.S. Eliot’s collection of poems “Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats.” If T.S. Eliot enjoys cats enough to write a book of poems about them, it’s not going to hurt you to ingest a little fluff. (Figuratively, of course.)
The Old Gumbie Cat (last three stanzas)
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;
The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots.
She sits upon the window-sill, or anything that’s smooth and flat:
She sits and sits and sits and sits–and that’s what makes a Gumbie Cat!
But when the day’s hustle and bustle is done,
Then the Gumbie Cat’s work is but hardly begun.
She thinks that the cockroaches just need employment
To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment.
So she’s formed, from that lot of disorderly louts,
A troop of well-disciplined helpful boy-scouts,
With a purpose in life and a good deed to do
And she’s even created a Beetles’ Tattoo.
So for Old Gumbie Cats let us now give three cheers
On whom well-ordered households depend, it appears.
For the rest of the poem go here.