The trailer for ‘Avalanche Sharks’ will improve your film literacy by 0.003%
The oh-hell-no camp monster genre isn’t going away anytime soon, and how could it? Production companies behind distributors such as SyFy and TK have lined up so many fish-out-of-water-that-kills-you movies, XHamster will run out of babysitter porn before we’ll live in a world where angry CGI sea creatures keep off the screen.
Not that we’re complaining.
The latest to join the ranks is SyFy’s “Avalanche Sharks,” a heartfelt story of big-booby jacuzzi girls and studly ski bums getting attacked in the mountains by fish. It’s apparently not the first of its franchise, and I’m not even referring to “Sharknado.” As FilmDrunk pop culture correspondent and child pageant expert Ashley Burns points out, “this movie was supposed to be released back in June as a sequel to something called ‘Sand Sharks,’ and other sources reported back in May that it was supposed to be called ‘Sharkalanche’ and star Brooke Hogan.”
“Avalanche Sharks” was written by Keith Shaw (“Malibu Shark Attack”). No word on a release date.