Dexter Toy Protest Overlooks the Obvious

An Ohio man has started protesting Toys R Us for selling action figures of Dexter, Showtime’s resident serial killer. What about all of the other objectionable toys?

According to Jim Schultz, Toys R Us should be ashamed of itself for selling the fictional killer, because kids are impressionable and all that jazz.

“I’ve seen the Toys R Us commercials, I didn’t see a 30-something-year-old guy dancing around with the kids and the giraffe,” Schultz insisted. “There isn’t a serial killer Ken. He doesn’t come with a hack saw and a trash bag to put Barbie’s head in.” Sure, I understand his concern: kids shouldn’t be taught that murderers are cool.

I’d be more compassionate to Schultz’s cause, however, if he took a harder look at the toy giant’s entire collection.

It’s been years since I went to a toy store. Looking over the Toys R Us catalog, however, I see other figures deserving of anti-violence shame. First and foremost, the company carries a wide-range of Wrestling toys.

Doesn’t the WWE condone violence, far more real, than Dexter, a toy sold with a “for adults only” warning? Is it right for kids to learn that fisticuffs are the right way to solve problems, a lesson propagated through the popular wrestling series.

And then there’s comic book-related products, like The Joker, Batman’s arch-nemesis who has killed countless innocent civilians. Should he be pulled from the shelves?

And what of little girls? Barbie may now be a computer scientist, but she still has an inhuman figure that no doubt spawns body dysmorphia and eating disorders. Should this icon be banished for fear of child psychosis?

Toys, whether collectible or not, are based on fun, on imagination. The idea that a Dexter toy would create a killer is categorically insane, especially since Dexter only kills criminals. If Dexter does indeed create monsters, then one could argue the same thing about any number of toys marketed to children.

Shoot, if Schultz is truly serious, he’ll take on The Simpsons-brand Smithers bobble-head for promoting hilarious homosexuality, or Hellboy’s 10-inch likeness for its Satanic virtues.

Violence, sadly, is a part of our American culture, whether for kids or adults. It’s packaged and sold in convenient locations. If you’re going to attack one supposedly bad example, you have to attack them all. This is, after all, an equal-opportunity country.