Twitter is changing and we’re all gonna die
According to a report from BuzzFeed News, Twitter is gearing up to launch an algorithmic timeline, possibly as soon as next week. What does this mean? Clearly life as we know it is over and there is no coming back from this catastrophic turn of events.
OK, so it’s probably not that serious. First of all, Twitter has yet to even confirm BuzzFeed’s report. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong, and Twitter ruining everything about Twitter isn’t exactly a difficult thing to believe, but the point is we don’t really have any details. For example, will users have the option to switch back to a chronological timeline? It seems highly likely that will be the case, so in reality nothing is changing if you don’t want it to.
“Why even have an algorithmic timeline, though?” asks you, the hypothetical reader who for some reason wants me to explain Twitter to you. Well, for someone who is new to Twitter, the overwhelming deluge of jokes, late-night hashtag games, bad think pieces, and political debate live-tweets can be terrifyingly difficult to navigate. Having an algorithm that only shows you the “good” stuff can help alleviate the confusion. Same goes for people who just aren’t that into Twitter. It may be hard to believe, but some people don’t spend half their day staring at their Twitter feed. I know, it’s shocking. Take as much time as you need to process that. It’s one of the reasons Twitter implemented that While You Were Away feature a while back. Algorithmic sorting is pretty convenient for people who easily miss most of the nonsense that flies through their timeline.
But enough common sense. Let’s talk disaster. #RIPTwitter is a thing now, and I highly encourage you to go through and read about everyone who is upset that Twitter is apparently “turning into Facebook.” Alternatively, they are upset that their tweets will be buried due to the cruel and uncaring algorithm deeming them irrelevant and unworthy of attention. Fair enough, but isn’t that what we all deserve anyway?