White House aides say Trump has been doing nothing but complaining about his first foreign trip

President Trump is scheduled Friday to depart for the first foreign trip of his presidency, but the human personification of a one-star Yelp review is not looking forward to the international jaunt that his team has planned out over nine days.

Shocker, I know. With stops in Israel, the Vatican, Belgium and Saudi Arabia, POTUS is worried that the many high pressure, high stakes meetings he’ll have on this trip will disrupt the chill cocoon of validation he’s built around Washington D.C., according to White House staffers who spoke to The New York Times.

The combination of dread toward the trip, in addition to the number of scandals that continually grow by the day, has prompted the president, according to aides, to gripe about being forced out of his comfort zone, i.e. not being able to sleep in his own bed, or on one of the Trump-owned properties which has a golf course.

The president has also canceled his scheduled visit to Yad Vashem, the Holocaust memorial museum in Jerusalem, for reasons not disclosed in the report.

More from NYT on the shit show one might expect in the next week:

[T]he trip comes at a critical moment for Mr. Trump’s young presidency. It is his first opportunity to deliver specifics about his “America first” worldview to a global audience that has watched his initial, chaotic months in the White House with a mix of amusement, befuddlement and alarm.

The president’s packed schedule is filled with opportunities for Mr. Trump to slip up, publicly or privately: back-to-back discussions with the leaders of other nations, many of whom are veteran negotiators well versed in issues they care deeply about.

Trump’s child-like temperament aside, the basic strategizing alone for an administration’s first international trip should pose as a challenge regardless. From syncing up security and scheduling to the little things like making sure there are the right kinds of cell phone chargers and hole-punchers handy, any small detail could botch an afternoon slate. “The coordination between NSC, State and WH is tough just for paper, let alone logistics,” one Obama White House official told Death and Taxes. “Since there is no ‘Trump’ policy, I’m not sure how they will define their goals. I’d say this is a shoot from the hip exercise.”

Comforting. Nevertheless, the world awaits the outcome of what sounds like a disaster in waiting. Is Trump capable of sitting in a meeting for more than 30 minutes? Will the administration be able to advance any of their agenda? Does the administration have an agenda? More from the Obama official: “The good thing is the host countries don’t want to look bad so it won’t be awful. But I just don’t think the U.S. gets anything out of it.”

It won’t be awful? That sounds pretty great to me.

[photo: AP]