Bill O’Reilly Says ‘Boo’ and ‘Poppycock’ to Sarah Palin

A case of pot calling the kettle black, if by the “pot” you mean “crazyperson” and by black you mean “outonherschtick.”

Bill O’Reilly called out Sarah Palin on his show the other day, saying:

Her favorability amongst Republicans and Independents has dropped four points in a month. And the reason I think it’s dropping is because she’s not engaging. Y’know, when I had her on this program, I asked her some specific questions, she didn’t want to answer them, she wanted to give a speech.

At risk of sounding like the leftist, pot-smoking longhair stereotype that I so clearly am, isn’t this the angle of almost every Republican? Let’s watch Michele Bachmann, everybody!

The thing is, “talking” as a base movement of one’s mouth does not necessarily mean actually engaging in conversation or a dialogue, because, you know, that’s what this country needs, a dialogue.

I mean, honestly, really, look, I’ve had a shitty week, I haven’t gotten laid since dinosaurs roamed the earth, so I’m gonna take it all out on the Republicans. Okay, so here it goes – can’t you just for fucking once have a dialogue? Why does it all have to be shouting? Why? What did we do wrong, huh? We grew up watching 8 seasons of ’24′ during the Bush years – of COURSE there’s gonna be a black president, and now you guys are mad?

You guys had Jack Bauer the whole 8 years. What did we have? A half-hearted Pixies reunion halfway through. And that’s a shitty payoff for having the far right enact things like three-day abortion waiting periods (and zero day waiting periods for guns, might I add, so the incumbent mother can what, forgo an abortion but shoot herself? Murder is murder across the board. Quit getting a boner of metal gun penii).

But really, what about a dialogue? What about just saying, “Hey, we think this way, but lets talk and try to reach an agreement on this as opposed to Orwellian sickle-and-hammer Thought Police type shit.” You guys are like bad step-parents, just chastising and offering nothing in return, other than, “You look like a slut in those jeans, Rebecca, so that means no NPR for you or anybody else for that matter.”

It makes no sense. Dick Cheney shot someone in the face at close range and you guys just magically glossed over it like it was a fart in a subway cushion.

Anyway. Where was I? I can’t remember. Something something Bill O’Reilly. Dude looks and acts like Evil Bill Murray. Sarah Palin is like the real life Peggy Hill. Boo. Something something they had it out with eachother which is kind of like Poo saying to Vomit “oh hey you stink.” That’s my analogy. Those two people are awful.

Thank God it’s dollar beer night. Woof. Maybe it’ll make me forget about the fourth female lead of a particular Saturday night comedy show going off about hating brown people. Did I miss a memo? Is there a happy world out there where things are going right?