Heaphy had not a large amount in her possession and, presumably tearing a page out of her granddaughter’s playbook, said she was holding it for a friend.
“Now you fucked a good meal!” might be the line that makes the thing worth watching.
The machete-wielding movie thug don sMarcia Brady’s goldilocks and meticulously brushes with every stroke for a Super Bowl ad.
Sean Patrick Kane wasn’t suspended for having sex with his students. He was sent home for ranting on Facebook about how “stupid” the kids were for opening their mouths about the whole situation.
“The water was like chocolate milk,” said one diver. “I couldn’t see my hand when I held it in front of my face.”
“If Justin Bieber came to you,” WGN’s entertainment correspondent Dean Richards asked, “and said, ‘I wanna come on stage with Motley Crüe, how would you guys react?”
The only bummer about it, Wilmore said, is that “in two years, his lease is up … but at least he’ll still be black.”
Alleged serial rapist Cosby, who is performing in Denver’s Buell Theatre this week, is losing massive revenue due to ticket-holders wanting their money back.
“I don’t know why it’s so hard to believe women,” Leno said. “You go to Saudi Arabia and you need two women to testify against a man. Here you need 25.”
“The Price is Right” announcer George Gray attempted shtick on Thursday’s show last week and ended up falling on his ass.
“The current tally stands at 35 women,” Wilmore said. “Really, folks, how many more do we need?”
In Parkersburg, West Virginia, police arrested six women and two men after a round of several prostitution stings. And one of the men could go as Darth Maul for Halloween on the cheap.
Yes, as far as we’re concerned, this is the top story to come out of something called the “Professional Bull Riders” event at Madison Square Garden.
38-year-old Melody Lippert (mugshot, left) and 30-year-old Michelle Ghirelli (right) also brought alcohol to the party, which, BTW, was not sanctioned by the school.
Owner Andrei Bolshakov, aka “Mi Mi,” said that the fight broke out as soon as one gangster saw a rival gangster who “tried moving in on” one of the strippers.